working on my backwards walk

I ran around the island of the orchids for about 30 minutes feeling like a character from The Beach. I was so exhausted from cleaning cabins, smelling of bleach and bug-spray, dark circles traced under my eyes. But I was dead set to explore & find peace, even if it was briefly. I smelled all the flowers I could find, all in shades of the sunsets in Costa Rica. I looked for the spiny plant that contained the dye you could break open and paint on your face, like a warrior. I searched and searched and could not find it.

As I was watching a fluorescent yellow bird, I saw the plant out of the corner of my eye and ran to it. It had dried up and was no longer producing fruit. The pods had cracked opened and were painted the brown of decay. I guess it was significant to what I was searching for. I was trying to remember this plant. Remember last year. Remember. Remember. Remember. Was kind of my own Eternal Sunshine moment I suppose. I was so busy chasing memories, that I believed I would find them. And I didn’t. And wouldn’t

It was a different time of year. And I had to stop searching for things that I had already known and pay attention to the new things around me.

So I walked along the shore, debating whether to sneak a coconut on board and decided to leave nature with nature. The rich guests wobbled around on the paddle boards and toted their long, bulky expensive camera lenses around over their round khaki stomachs. I heard an “awk, awk!” and looked up. A swarm of scarlet macaws flew by, I had almost missed the call, but instinctively I had remembered it.

I laid down on the rocks, starfish style, and just relaxed.